How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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