Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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