I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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