Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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