Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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