He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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