hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
