i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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