The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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