Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
