nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
