3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
