His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
