Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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