I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
