I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
