kristin has been a bad kristin
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
