He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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