I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
