dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
