I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
