I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
