maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
