Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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