4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
