Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
