Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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