not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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