And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I am naked and annoyed.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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