Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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