Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
