i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
