im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
