I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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