I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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