True but thats because hes a fetus.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
