fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
