Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
