I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
