I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
