i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
