I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i out mim tonsoeep
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