so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
