I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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