C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
