my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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