Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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