ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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