you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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