so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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